There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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