we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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