apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
