ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize