This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
