We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
