There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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