But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
