There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Idk if I want to put a bra on
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
