If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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