did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
