Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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