They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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