Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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