I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
