i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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