I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Your cock deserves a montage
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Randomize
