He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
