My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
