so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize