i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
