do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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