I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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