I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
