He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
