Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
