there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
