oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
