i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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