what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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