is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
