i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
