We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
