I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
