I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
