I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
