doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
