my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
