im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
