Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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