OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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