is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
This couple is walking their pig around campus
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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