she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You ruined the universe
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
