Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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