Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
