You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
