lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
