4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Randomize
