FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize