if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
