what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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