Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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