I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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