It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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