I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I need moral support for this bender
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
