What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
