It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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