spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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