i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
