Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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