i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I want to fling myself into the sun
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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