what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
